I really am a nice guy. I am considerate to everyone and especially to my wife.
But, when I start feeling overwhelmed about life in general I get edgy and my discomfort starts to leak out in the form of making less-than-pleasant comments I would never normally make.
I surprise myself when things like that pop out. And although they are rare, my wife has a zero-tolerance rule about them. She likes me just the way I am. Even though she understands how those slip ups happen and that my excuses could be viewed as reasonable, I get a spanking for them every time.
Yesterday was one of those days. I pleaded my case pointing out that it almost never happens and that I was joking anyway. She was very understanding.
Then I was marched into the bedroom and laid over a nice soft pile of pillows and blankets; positioned for her convenience.
Over the years she has collected an amazing variety of tools. So she is able to pick anything that fits her mood perfectly every time. But it seems like some kind of wooden paddle always makes it into the mix.
Too soon I am feeling the "bee stings" of that paddle and it's raining swats. I am SO sorry and am apologizing. She is lecturing me and asking if I think it is O.K. to talk to her like that. I emphasize that NO it is not and as she slows it down I am relieved it is almost over.
But, then she starts bringing up a few other things she has on her mind - she never forgets anything, it is amazing actually. Yes, there were a few other things I have done over the last week or two that were outside of the lines and we are going to clear the slate right now.
She has some braided leather implements that are, well how should I put it? Horrible.
Oh it is far from over. Each application of the leather is driving me crazy. And there are way more of them than I feel is justified. (that part is a joke; as if I am invited to have an opinion about that).
It finally ends and after expressing suitable appreciation we go back to life as usual - very lovely.