I have been fortunate in that I have been able to fulfill, in real life, quite a few of my fantasies. I was with my wife at the first ever Shadow Lane party and have been to large and small spanking parties. We have, over the years, had some very close relationships with F/m spanking couples and been able to enjoy the intimacy of sharing substantial quality time and really getting to know them as people.
I could crow having such amazing good fortune. But I bring it up only so you realize I have "been there, done that, and seen the rest."
I categorize the men's situations as follows:
1. Love to imagine spanking, have never done it, are frustrated and still trying to find someone to have that kind of relationship with.
2. Love to imagine spanking, have done it before and may have been in an F/m relationship, are now frustrated and still
trying to find someone to have that kind of relationship with.
3. Love to experience spanking, go to occasional events like Shadow Lane hoping to meet their needs.
4. Love to experience spanking, engage with professionals to meet their needs.
5. Love to experience spanking, are in a relationship that meets their needs.
6. Love to imagine spanking, have done it before, are in an F/m relationship, hate to experience it.
I am of the last category (6) and I think I may be of a very small minority; I'm not sure of it though. As I say to my wife when we talk about it. " I love to think about or anticipate a spanking. I thoroughly enjoy recalling a recent spanking. But I hate being spanked and it scares me to no end and I avoid it if I can possible do so."
I have been to parties where a man was spanked very soundly, in the public room, and even after what looked like a LOT of hard spanking was still begging for more. I can't believe when I see that. I want my punishments to be over and I have never, ever, asked for a "second helping please."
Believe me. I do not judge others based on what their particular fetish or spanking threshold is. I am just saying it amazes me.
For our particular relationship; me being me, works out well. My wife is motivated to be a disciplinarian by the results she sees. Her theory, which works incredibly well around here, is that a repeat of behavior that I was disciplined for means I did not get enough of her loving attention. Her formula is that it is always doubled the next time. Do the math - that's exponential 10, 20, 40, 80, etc.
She has spanked many men over the years and even being the basic wimp I am in terms of tolerance I am still her favorite. She openly admits to enjoying spanking my butt. And yes, I have had the non-disciplinary spankings too and yes I have had some genuine sweet fun in those circumstances.
But for me, getting a spanking because I asked for it just does not fill my needs. For me, it must be externally imposed to have real juice.
Well, that's a lot of words and if someone reads my growing collection of mental meanderings, I hope you get something out of it.