In the grand scheme of what we all want and need in life, getting your spanking needs fulfilled should be among the easier ones. But it is not. And that makes me sad. I know we point at the social “unacceptability” of it as the reason. But really, it is our own unwillingness to take a few small risks, endure a bit of rejection, and work through it to get at least some of what we need. I could really turn this into pages of suggestions of what to do. But basically it’s to speak up and ask and try.
Those days of going without are long gone for me. But I not only remember the frustration of them clearly, I communicate with people all the time, especially men, who want/need this fulfillment more than almost anything and can’t seem to find it.
It is in this spirit that I intend to make my next several posts about my experiences that were not as rich and satisfying as those I have already shared. I think it may help to fill out the picture.
I was NEVER one who could speak out openly about my spanking needs. I could not get the words out of my mouth. I was already out of college, in the workforce, I had already been married once and it never happened in that context either, when I finally decided I had to have a real life experience of being spanked by a woman.
I often read personal ads in a free newspaper called the San Francisco Bay Guardian that offered professional spanking services. I would fantasize and imagine doing it but never followed through. I was that inhibited. There was even a column by a dominatrix named Kat who would describe her personal relationship activities in detail. I was amazed to read this stuff.
Anyway, I made the call to a place called Backdrop in Hayward. What a goofy name huh? Everything was highly covert. You would not believe how cautions they were. This was the procedure.
After I called and said what I wanted. I was given instructions to drive to a phone booth and then call them again from there at an appointed time. Later I figured out that they were watching me from the house, checking on who I was, or wasn’t I guess. Then they told me exactly where to park my car and which house to come to. It was a two story Victorian type of building.
Once I arrived I was shown to a waiting room where I found myself sitting with another man and I recognized him as a cashier from my supermarket. I didn’t actually know him, and I doubt he had a clue that I even shopped at that store. But it was still weird.
After a while a tall woman, dressed in dominatrix type clothes came and got me. She was very commanding and impersonal (which I later came to realize was the basic dominatrix style).
We went upstairs to a sparsely furnished room and when she asked, I stumblingly mumbled that I was there for spanking.
Following her orders, I removed most of my clothes and she “spanked” me, standing up, with one of those thin paint stirrers that stores give you for free when you buy a gallon of paint. It could not have lasted more than 5 or 10 minutes and I hardly felt anything. After all my anticipation it was boring and stupid.
I had paid pretty good money for that opportunity and I went home incredibly disappointed.
So there you have it. It’s definitely not all “glamorous” and richly fulfilling. But, one must persevere. I plan to share a few more of the dud experiences because I truly believe it will help those of you who are still trying to find something good to keep going.