Tuesday, December 3, 2013

F/m or M/f ?

Over the years we have talked with many women who were the capital “F” in an F/m relationship. It has been surprising how many began as a small “f” and migrated kind of organically to preferring to be on top. Although my particular kink has always centered on being under the loving control of my wife regarding domestic discipline, on few rare occasions at parties I have given a few spankings myself.
I thoroughly enjoyed delivering a good spanking when it was requested at a party.  I had to learn how to be sensitive to keeping it moderate for most of the women. At first I just gave what I was used to getting. But as it turned out, most wanted it much lighter and with greater drama (lecture etc). All of which I was 100% happy to do.
My wife never had any inclination toward being the small “f”.  She took on the disciplinarian role on day one and that, as they say, is the name of that game. And for me it has been prefect.
But we have friends who choose to have a switch arrangement; taking turns as to who gives the spankings and who gets them. At first I could not understand how they could be happy that way. It seemed, I guess I would call it, artificial. But as I matured over the years I finally admitted to myself that however a couple chooses to enjoy some kink in their lives, it’s perfect as long as everyone is getting their needs met and is ultimately happy with it.
So, when it comes to a party setting, I enjoy everything that goes on. I may not have seen everything. But I have seen quite a bit over the years. I will not even begin to describe the diversity of kink I have witnessed and as long as we are talking about mentally healthy, consenting, adults I am all for it.
Truth be told, most often whether you are the small “m” or the small “f”, you are receiving the gift of the other parties attention and efforts to fulfill YOUR wants and needs.  After talking with quite a few other men who are disciplined by their wives I can say with confidence, that they are among the most grateful, and dedicated husbands around.
My recommendation is that even if you are a small “m”, or a small “f”, it’s a good idea to keep enough flexibility that you can give whatever others in your life might want and need.  I realize that doing so may be a big stretch for some people. But, in a wholesome relationship giving is not defined by what you imagine or believe that others might want. It is defined by truly understanding what they do actually want and making every effort to provide that.

1 comment:

  1. Hi, Just found your blog today, I think a link from the long running, just concluded MBS blog.
    My Bottom Smarts opened up many things to me, including learning that I was not alone in my feelings and also in introducing things like wife led relationships, tease and denial, etc.
    I have been spanking my wife occasionally for many years and maybe once a year for my birthday I would get spanked. I realized that she liked to be spanked, but didn't seem to want it nearly as much as I. During the past year I have talked at length with her about wife led marriage. I have learned to be very attentive and helpful to her and she has become more comfortable with treating me as her submissive or sex slave.
    She does still like to have me "take" her at times and be rough and domineering. Sometimes I still spank her, but I crave all the time that she will spank me and whip me hard with her belt.
    So I guess you could say she has gone with my encouragement from a small "f" to a large one and I hope that she will continue to grow in that role and feel comfortable treating me as her small "m".