Monday, December 9, 2013

Keeping Secrets

CAUTION- I am doing some deep thinking here and not recounting any interesting spanking adventures.  So seriously, if you have checked in for a good spanking story, I invite you to come back next time. I have a good one in progress.

After writing the piece about F/m vs. M/f spanking my thoughts went down an unexpected trail. I got to thinking about why F/m spanking is still one of those closely guarded secrets even though so many previously “unacceptable” lifestyles are becoming accepted.
I am not any kind of expert in sociology. But the model of a Patriarchal society jumps into my mind as the reason for the secret-keeping. With few exceptions the historical gold standard for heroism and greatness has been an Alpha Male of some kind. The world still suppresses the Feminine.  In the U.S. it is not as blatant as the near-slave/prisoner status women and girls are subjected to in some other parts of the world. But, it is there.

Men are taught to ignore, suppress, override, and somehow overcome their feminine side by any means possible. Being like a girl in any way is meant as a huge insult. So, “my wife puts me across her knee and spanks the hell out of my bare bottom” does not exactly have a place in the patriarchal world view.

I think the idea of being in a submissive position, even if it is ultimately by choice, is imagined to somehow diminish one’s status in that patriarchal world. To be known as one who indulges in that is also to be seen as “lower status” or “weaker” and this is more of a risk than most men can accept.
Here is where it gets very interesting. Most of the men I have met who receive spankings from their wives are definitely NOT submissive in nature and ARE in fact strong males. Many are in leadership or authority positions. I have personally met men from the judiciary, clergy, business leaders (including more than one CEO), scientists, police, artists, and other professions.
Even though they keep their kink private, they have accepted themselves, and have found a way to manifest it in their lives. So while the fear of public embarrassment remains, they have overcome self-denial and exposed their secret in their own relationship and eventually by reaching out, to meet others.

I can’t tell you how many times I have heard men say in some way or another that it was a relief to discover that they were not alone.

Personally, I have found it incredibly liberating to be with other men who have the F/m experience as part of their lives. But even if meeting others is not something you would ever do, I hope you can embrace the concept that there are solid strong F/m men out there who, if you met them, would call you brother. So regardless of whether you ever meet another F/m man/couple or not, trust me – you are not alone and you are not “weird”.

So even though I know there are a few women, like Dianne, who look in on me. I’ll sign off with - See you next time, brother J

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