Due to some unexpected health matters, the specifics of which are not important to this conversation, my wife has been away from home in Rehab for several weeks. Suffice to say she needed to recover and regain her strength. Naturally I visited her daily and we also spoke on the phone several other times each day.
When it was clear that her recovery was going very well I was able to relax and allow some humor back into my life. I was having a conversation with a friend, not in any way knowledgeable about the DWC, about how my wife’s absence triggered the feeling that there was no “adult supervision” and I could do whatever I wanted to. I got into a kind of “first year in college” mode while she was gone; drinking more beer then usual and stuff like that.
Hearing myself say that was quite revelatory for me since actually my wife rarely stops me from doing what I want to. I won’t say “never” because she does put her foot down when she feels it is necessary. But I am certainly not over-controlled.
Just so you don’t misunderstand; I have not been letting things slip and have been keeping up on all necessary home business. But at the same time, to be honest, I have been over-indulging in some things I would not if she were home. But I am keeping busy making sure that she will be pleased with the condition of our home when she comes back.
Anyway, it got me thinking about the role of “Adult Supervision” in our Female-Led relationships. I have come to the opinion that, at least for me, I prefer to have my wife fulfill that role. Again, it’s not that I see myself as a child, nor do I lack the self-discipline to get work done. It’s just that there is an element of accountability that I appreciate when she is around.
Hmmm. I wonder if this makes sense to anyone.