Tuesday, April 12, 2016

"Adult Supervision"

Adult Supervision

Due to some unexpected health matters, the specifics of which are not important to this conversation, my wife has been away from home in Rehab for several weeks. Suffice to say she needed to recover and regain her strength. Naturally I visited her daily and we also spoke on the phone several other times each day.

When it was clear that her recovery was going very well I was able to relax and allow some humor back into my life.  I was having a conversation with a friend, not in any way knowledgeable about the DWC, about how my wife’s absence triggered the feeling that there was no “adult supervision” and I could do whatever I wanted to. I got into a kind of “first year in college” mode while she was gone; drinking more beer then usual and stuff like that.

Hearing myself say that was quite revelatory for me since actually my wife rarely stops me from doing what I want to. I won’t say “never” because she does put her foot down when she feels it is necessary. But I am certainly not over-controlled.

Just so you don’t misunderstand; I have not been letting things slip and have been keeping up on all necessary home business. But at the same time, to be honest, I have been over-indulging in some things I would not if she were home. But I am keeping busy making sure that she will be pleased with the condition of our home when she comes back.

Anyway, it got me thinking about the role of “Adult Supervision” in our Female-Led relationships. I have come to the opinion that, at least for me, I prefer to have my wife fulfill that role. Again, it’s not that I see myself as a child, nor do I lack the self-discipline to get work done. It’s just that there is an element of accountability that I appreciate when she is around.

Hmmm.  I wonder if this makes sense to anyone.


  1. Sounds like we should chat. It is so refreshing to know there is someone else voicing the same thoughts as myself.

  2. Sounds like we should chat. It is so refreshing to know there is someone else voicing the same thoughts as myself.

    1. That's really nice to hear. You can always reach me at tomynash@gmail.com if your subject matter is private. If that's not the case other readers would probably enjoy our chatting.

  3. Perfectly put and that equates to me as well. Age regression is not what it is about but the 'naughty boy' in me needs discipline

  4. It seems that our inner "Naughty Boys" stick around in there for life. Lucky us :)

  5. Yes. Our inner "naughty boys" seem to be there for life. Lucky us. :)

  6. Note: I have added this comment on behalf of Bartleby

    I've just discovered your blog, and I like it!

    I agree about adult supervision. My wife makes sure I'm up to date on my chores for HER: I do most of the housework, cooking, run errands, fix her drinks, etc. If I screw up there, or act in a way that annoys her too much, she'll let me have it. I think I'd benefit it she was also strict about my progress at work. But I don't want to push it because she has enough grief at her own job and my role is to make life easy for her, not to add further burdens. I'm still cogitating.