Tuesday, June 30, 2020

Finding a Spanking Partner

I think that 99% of my readers are men and that the majority of you are frustrated because you can’t find a DWC Partner. It’s not like I wasn’t there before I met Aunt Kay. But 25 years of living the dream pushed those days out of my memory. Now I find myself there again and being basically in the Senior category realize the odds are stacked way against me. But I still fantasize that by some unexplainable circumstance a DWC-oriented woman will find me here (and then I’ll win the lottery and we’ll buy a boat).

I have checked out some of the adult spanking connection services and all I find is sleaze. Maybe there is something with the integrity the DWC had out there. But I haven’t seen it. To be clear, I’m not referring to Blogs where there are some great conversations going on. I am referring specifically to "spanking dating services".

Aunt Kay and I always wanted to help people connect with one another. We even wrote a book, “Finding a DWC Partner”. I recently reread it and frankly it’s kind of antiquated and quaint. But there were some good reminders. The most important was about making sure that there was genuine compatibility. Let’s face it. Even if you have a DWC lifestyle going, spanking takes up like .01 % of your activities. I can say without a shred of doubt that if Aunt Kay had not become the disciplinary Diva she was, I would still have been unbelievably fortunate to share my life with her.

For us guys who somehow got wired with the need for spanking, it’s really complicated. There’s a good possibility that my skinny little butt has seen all the spanking it’s going to. But I sure hope to at least find some good companionship. I guess the point I’m making is that companionship, partnership, nurturance, is what is most important.

I hope my musing is useful for some of you. I know you would rather find a titillating story.


  1. Based on all the discussions we've had on my blog over the years, I don't think are large numbers of women out there who are into DD spankings, BUT there do seem to be many that become open to it once they are in a relationship with a man who suggests it. So, if you've reached a point where you are interested, perhaps the best strategy is to focus on women who use euphemisms like "open-minded" and "adventurous," and establish a relationship first, then at the right time bring up that you were spanked in your marriage, and see where the conversation goes from there.

  2. I'm not into DD exactly, but I'm a spanko and I'd like a serious relationship with a "guy wired with the need for spanking". I think the odds are stacked against anyone with a fairly specific need/wish on top of the rest of the regular relationship stuff, but with the internet giving deviants a way to network, the odds are the best they've ever been. Still, I think networking in person is vital. For best results, use the internet to find kinky gatherings, go to some and socialize with appropriately low expectations, just as regular people go to church, work, bars, et cetera to meet regular potential loves. Here's hoping Cupid strikes twice...

    1. Well, given the ratios, Camomile, I should think it would be easy for you to pick and choose.

      In my experience, DWC men overall seem to make great partners. They are dedicated and appreciate the woman in their life. And there is generally a good level of intelligence.

  3. Disclaimer: Any woman reading this is going to bristle at the analogy, but that doesn't stop it from being accurate.

    Finding a kink-compatible companion is like fishing.

    1: And THIS is the most important one of all. If you're after a Marlin, don't waste your time casting into a trout stream. Likewise, if you're looking for trout, don't waste money on a party-boat going out for bluefish.

    2: Once you're fishing in the right spot, you will need bait. Fish aren't going to just hop into your creel because you so desperately want one. And it should be the right bait. You have to entice a fish to bite. (Translating this into human terms: have something to offer to make yourself attractive.)

    3: You can be on what seems like good water, and still have it fished out. Or you could be on a great body of water.....but just in the wrong spot. Move around. Try new places. Make a lot of casts, but then if nothing happens, don't waste your time getting frustrated.

    4: But don't give up either. Some days fish just don't bite, or you may be on water that's been beaten up by someone who got there first. There's always another day, another spot, and other baits or lures to try.

    5: Hone your skills. Practice. Learn what works and what doesn't. Adapt. Refine your intuition so you can get a good feel for what's out there, what they want, and how they react. Learn to read the water........or prepare to spend a lot of time casting into nothing worth catching.

    and 6: If you want a rare native brook trout, but somehow managed to catch one of the much more plentiful common fish swimming in the same water, don't take it home and try to turn it into a trout. Throw it back, gently, and keep fishing. However, it's also possible that you might be fishing a lake that has muskie, bass, and pickerel looking for a trophy muskie, but while no muskie are biting, you keep catching bass and the occasional pickerel. It IS possible that while you might want to toss back all of the bass since they are nothing like what you are after, it might not be so bad to settle for a pickerel.......if it's big enough.....as 'close enough'.

  4. I have not heard anyone refer to a pickerel in 60 years.

    I suppose in my case the whole history of the blog reveals a fair amount of who I am (the bait?)

    1. I wasn't directing the analogy at you solely or even generally. It was meant more for the majority of frustrated men you referred to in your post. I am sure you will do fine if you give it a try. I just sometimes think the frustration of the guys who say they can't find a compatible partner with a spanking interest might be because they are not fishing correctly. ;-)

    2. And the metaphoric explanations were beautifully poetic.

  5. Tomy: I am very happy to read that you have once again found balance in your life. Although you desire DD, you understand what are the most important features in a relationship. Good wishes in finding a new companion in life, who will make you happy, and vice versa. If it does not happen, friendship is excellent, and always remember to still be kind to yourself and enjoy life.
    bottoms up

  6. In my experience, even if you find a woman who is interested in spanking, it's very unlikely she will be sharing other interest you may have. All of the successful DD couples I know started out with the woman being vanilla. Her partner asked her to spank him. Over time, and it took us several years, the relationship evolves into a true DD relationship.

    I wish you all the luck in the world!