Wednesday, July 29, 2020

Maritime Spankings

I hope this anecdote brings a smile to you.

Aunt Kay had been corresponding extensively with a couple from the Los Angeles area and made an arrangement for us to fly down from the Bay Area and have an overnight visit with them. The “comedy” began right from the airport.

The man picked us up curbside in an old Volvo that had obviously seen better days. He had a kind of oddball demeanor, vaguely like Kramer from the old show “Sienfeld”. Well, one of the back doors didn’t open properly and I had to climb thru the front to get back there while Aunt Kay rode shotgun.

To say this guy was a bad driver would be as much of an understatement as saying the ocean has a lot of water in it. I do not exaggerate when I say it was like the madcap driving in one of those silent movies. And while driving the back door apparently figured out how to open itself and flew open from time to time.

The arrangement was that Aunt Kay and I would sleep overnight on their boat in a big marina, the name of which I cannot recall – they had a small house in the hills. We had come in fairly early and we decided to all hang out at the marina. I went with the guy went to get some takeout food. When we returned we found a note on the closed hatch of the boat with instructions that we were to report individually to the school principal (meaning in the boats cabin). I was assigned to go first.

Upon entering the cabin both women were very stern and serious and there was a list of my imaginary transgressions which warranted a not imaginary spanking from the two of them. They were quite enthusiastic about it and maybe showing off for one another. And the crack of their paddles inside the fiberglass boat resonated/amplified loudly. When they were finished with me I told him “good luck” as he went to the “Office”.

The marina was populated by quite a few live-in boaters. Some of them had fairly permanent set-ups on the dock alongside their boats; barbecues, sofas, fish tanks, etc. Anyway it turned out that our illusion of privacy during the office spanking sessions was just that; illusion. Apparently the fiberglass hull combined with the open spaces inside it acted more like a speaker system than a muffling wall. Everyone heard everything.

The woman host insisted we meet the neighbors, all of whom were pleasant people. There were a few of comments, good-natured really, about the spankings. It was definitely embarrassing for me. “Kramer” couldn’t have cared less.


  1. delightful to read. Hope you share more memories with everyone. everyone present more or less knew that it was consensual, so let them have their fun(??). They had probably heard him being s panked many times before. (Kramer was in Seinfeld)
    bottoms up

  2. Thanks Red. I fixed the reference. (Readers - I had mistakenly attributed Kramer to "Friends" instead of Seinfeld)

  3. You had my interest at the word maritime.
    As a sailor I have observed that folks on boats are much more casual and tolerant of others.

  4. Could have been worse. With all those other boat owners around, she could have had the two of you ‘flogged through the fleet’ as it were (or maybe ‘paddled through the pier’ works better?)

  5. Funny story Tomy....thanks for sharing.
    At least the boat seemed to be in better shape than his car!

  6. Well, in retrospect, I'm glad we never had to test it out on the open water.

  7. This comment has been removed by the author.